The Beast

I have been beating myself up thinking that I have done something wrong the past 10 months. I was questioning everything I had been doing – Did I lose the weight too quickly? Have I put too much stress on my body? Did I work out too hard? Why do I feel so unhealthy when I have worked so hard to be healthy? Where did I go wrong?

I am on my sixth doctor in 10 months. SIX! I have been to my primary doctor, who led me to a rheumatologist, who led me to a dermatologist, who led me to a gynecologist, and then back to a primary doctor (NP) again. Next, I was planning to do some extensive (and expensive!) allergy testing. Thankfully as I began discussing my symptoms with my friend, she led me to her brother (who has a functional chiropractic practice in Houston, TX) who then connected me with the gut expert I am working with now. She is an answer to my prayers.

I am going to jump all over the place in this post, but there’s so much to tell you. Let’s start by recapping my symptoms:

• Joint pain – this has been the worst of the symptoms and has drastically increased the past 4-5 weeks. I cannot sleep at night due to the deep, throbbing pains in my hips. There have been times I have barely been able to get out of bed.
• Headaches – these are off and on, but generally daily and typically in the afternoon
• Face rash – this happens with various foods, which is why I have been set on having a food allergy or sensitivity. Obviously I have been logging my food in a journal and have created a long list of things I cannot eat.
• Hair loss – this is when I really started freaking out. My hair is thinning at a rapid pace.
• Fatigue – I am exhausted ALL the time (especially the past few weeks).
• Mild depression – which seemed to be getting worse as my health was declining
• Constipation – I know this can be TMI, but I was only having a BM every 3-5 days.
• Raynaud’s disease

So 3 weeks ago I scheduled a Facetime conversation with the gut expert. We talked for over an hour. She listened to every symptom, every complaint, and every frustration. She dismissed nothing. She was caring and genuinely concerned that I have something major going on. Here’s a list of the possibilities we discussed:

• Some major gut issues
• Thyroid underperforming
• Food sensitivities (which would be linked to my gut)
• Autoimmune disease (which I have already been tested for)

Bottom line – she was convinced that my body was working really hard to fight something. She ordered a long list of tests to run including bloodwork and a stool sample. In the meantime, she had me on a strong probiotic, and a variety of other supplements to try to strengthen my gut. She also had me on a strict diet.

Yesterday Todd and I sat down for a second Facetime appointment with the doctor to get the results. We were anxious and hopeful.

I couldn’t believe what she was saying…

A parasite! A PARASITE?!! What in the world? Surely not! We then looked deeper in to the blood work and stool sample results. You know how most of the time you get those results back and everything falls into the normal range (or it’s supposed to anyway)? Well, that was not the case. Allow me to break it down:

1. Parasite: positive result and the beast that’s been living inside me for who knows how long. This parasite is the cause of most of the other issues that showed up.
2. Vitamin D deficiency – this is with me taking a supplement. Possible symptoms that this deficiency is causing includes hair loss, fatigue, and most importantly bone/joint pain
3. Thyroid – this stupid parasite has screwed up my levels so badly and has caused me to be suffering from hypothyroidism, meaning my body is working so hard to fight the parasite I am unable to produce enough of the thyroid hormone I need to keep me healthy. Symptoms of this include depression, hair loss, body being cold, constipation
4. Good bacteria – we all need good bacteria in our body to fight infections and harmful intruders. Mine showed LOW across the board. And not just a little low – some were very low, meaning I have very little bacteria in my body that can fight off the parasite.
5. Inflammation – the stool sample tests for Calprotectin. There are a variety of “normal ranges” but this one suggests anything under 50 is normal. Mine came in at 201 which basically means my colon is completely inflamed.
6. Secretory IgA – serves as the first line of defense in protecting the intestinal epithelium from enteric toxins and pathogenic microorganisms (according to the internet). The report calls this the “immune response”. Mine was so high it was completely off the charts.

Now I understand why my hips are throbbing constantly causing me to be unable to rest at night. Now I understand why my hair is falling out. Now I see why I have been suffering from depression, when I never have – not even with my mother’s passing. Now I understand why I sleep 9 hours every night but wake up exhausted. It finally all makes sense!

So, what am I doing now?

• Beginning a supplement/protocol asap to try to kill the beast
• Increase the probiotics I am taking and begin a more specific strand to try to build my immune and digestive systems back to health
• Continue taking my multi-vitamin which includes Vitamin D
• Begin another very strict diet, the Paleo FODMAP diet and continue for 30 days – I do not want to allow the beast anything to grow on
• Rest
• Walk, do Pilates/yoga, or body weight exercises if I feel like it
• Drinking lots of bone broth
• PRAYING

My friend, Shannon, came over yesterday morning and we did a 30 minute Pilates video. I’ve completed two triathlons, walked in three sixty-mile 3-Day events for breast cancer awareness, ran half-marathons and countless 5k’s, and have done some pretty hefty weight training, but never have I been as sore as I am from the Pilates video. I was up for 2-3 hours last night tossing and turning in pain. The kind of pain where tears fall out the sides of your eyes.

Some of the tears are tears of thankfulness. Thankful that we have found an answer. Thankful for a husband that is the most supportive, caring, wonderful person on the planet. I am thankful that I have been connected with some all natural products, Monat, that will help my hair back to health.* Thankful for family and friends who care and are willing to help me with the girls. I am also so thankful that I can finally let go of the idea that I have done this to myself.

Obviously my body is fighting hard. Who knows how long this has been going on? Maybe I got it in Jamaica in January? Maybe I have been healthy enough and not feeding the beast, but finally I have reached a breaking point and it could no longer hide itself? Who knows?! All I know is it’s got to GO!

So what is the expectation? Well, she said I may feel worse before I feel better. Which is terrible because I am barely able to sit long enough to type all of this as I am now. She is hopeful, though, that in 2 weeks I will feel more like myself again and 30 days from now, when we reevaluate the strict diet I’m on, she believes that I could be back feeling normal again.

I cannot tell you how much your positive thoughts, well wishes, support, and prayers have meant. I truly believe that God strategically placed Dr. Angela in my life. I am forever grateful to her for not giving up on me! Please continue praying for my doctor to have wisdom and for my body to stop attacking itself and begin attacking the beast.

XO, D